Is Change a Bad Thing?

When I was younger my parents always told me to never change for anyone, especially someone that I was dating! Always show everyone who you truly are and be real around them! I have done that for my entire life, and I have lost friends and found best friends because of it. Life is constantly changing! In my last couple of years of High School and through my Freshman Year of College I decided that I was the only one that could truly make myself happy! After several phone calls with my older sisters they all said, "Jenny, no one is going to make you happy if you aren't happy with yourself first!" It wasn't that I was mad about how I looked or didn't have a great group of friends, but I was never completely happy! That is when I started taking time for just me, and it has been life changing! Everyone is different and your time for yourself is probably very different then mine! My time for me became pushing myself to workout, painting my finger nails while watching a movie (Preferably the Notebook), and just being content with being alone! This process changed my life for the better, and I had never been happier! "Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." Lao Tzu.


Well as I started my Sophomore year of college at, Cornell University, I met someone that has had a huge impact on my life! I was not looking for a relationship at all, remember I was still basking in the stage of I love myself and I love my life! However, there was something about him that I couldn't just walk away and ruin an opportunity with this amazing, humble, kind guy that also made me laugh a lot (Huge Bonus Points). As Ryker and I got to know each other more and our relationship progressed, I point blank told him I was never going to lower my standards or change! Sounds kind of rude, but I never have lowered my standards because he exceeds them all, and as far as changing personally I am still me and love myself! However, as I look back over the last ten months of our relationship I started realize I really have changed, and personally I think its for the better! Here are a few reasons of why I think I have changed, and why I thank God that Ryker has helped me to change! P.S. I still take time for myself because it is still very important!

1)  If I would not have listened to my sisters and learned how to be happy with myself I would have never been completely happy with Ryker! I have learned to love with all of my heart and soul, and not be afraid to share how I feel!

2) He challenges me to be the best that I can be! For those of you who knew me before know that I didn't really have a problem with challenging myself and doing the best that I can, but its different with him because when I am feeling discouraged and like I want to quit he assures me that I can make it through and be successful!

3) He challenges me to do things for myself still! There are a lot of people that are in relationships and completely give up their lives for each other! Not us! This summer I am all the way in California and he is in New York, yeah you could say we could have some distance between us! Although it is not always easy he pushes me to explore my options and take new opportunities because he knows it is what is best for me.

4) He has changed my heart! He has given me patience, courage, and trust in different situations. I handle things differently than I would have before because I can trust that things are going to workout no matter what!

5) Most importantly we push each other to be the best that we can be. Whether its about our religion, jobs, or school we have open communication, and we can trust each other to talk about it and have sufficient feedback.

We challenge each other to be the best that we can be together and separately! I have changed not my morals or values, but I have changed for the better because of him. I believe that every good relationship should challenge each other to become better because no one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect! You are not supposed to change or hide a part of your life to impress someone, but you can be challenged by your significant other and change for the better!

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever” Nicholas Sparks.